In the Court of the Dipshit King

by Loud Stupid Americans

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Long ago I had this idea to form many bands where it's actually me writing/playing/singing everything but hidden behind a stream of fake identities. This plan went nowhere. These are the 4-track cassette demos of one of them, circa 2002.


released June 1, 2002

Written/performed by Matt Lebofsky
Recorded at home onto 4-track cassette
Cleaned up a little bit by Dan Rathbun

Artwork by Eric Lebofsky




Matt Lebofsky Oakland

I am/was in many bands. Bodies Floating Ashore, miRthkon, Secret Chiefs 3, MoeTar, Faun Fables, Research & Development, Fuxedos, Three Piece Combo, Fuzzy Cousins, Mumble & Peg. Herein you'll find my solo stuff and other oddities, pretty much entirely played/recorded by me unless noted otherwise. ... more


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Track Name: Relax
I never do the laundry because I have no time
And you should see my toilet
The grime it is sublime
I never call my parents and they don't see my view
They think I am a slacker
I wish I had one moment to
Relax.. relax.. relax.. relax..

There needs to be vacation
I need to take a break
The guy who thought up "full time"
He made a big mistake
You'd think I'd have the weekend but I am in five bands
Maybe I should quit some and then and only then I can
Relax.. relax.. relax.. relax..

The years are quickly passing but nothing's getting done
And I don't see improvement and I'm not having fun
I don't think I'll give up because I need the bread
So maybe when I'm eighty
Or maybe when I'm dead I can
Relax.. relax.. relax.. relax..
Track Name: Newton Died a Virgin
Genius mind trapped inside his head
Shared his notes but never shared his bed
You can eat the fruit of knowledge from that apple tree
But I'll believe it when I see it - like gravity

Crazy mind after 25
Fifty years he would stay alive*
You can blame it on your virtue
That doesn't work with me
Yeah I'll believe it when I see it - like gravity

(*actually he lived to be 85 but whatever)
Track Name: Tour Gods
From darkness soon the city glows
Who tells me where to wash my clothes?
Who drags me to the coffee shop?
Who points to where the people stop?
Who helps me put the flyers up?
Who gives my tired van a jump?
Who has a place for me to crash?
Who has a check for me to cash?
Who makes me dinner, breakfast too?
Who listens to what I've been through?
Who lets me shake and heat the air?
Who smiles but probably doesn't care?
Track Name: Cat in the Vat
I just changed your litter
And I feed you expensive food
I'll leave the back door open all night
Even though we sometimes get raccoons

I have a perfect solution: I'LL EAT YOU!!!
Track Name: Survivor Sux
I was nice in times when I could have been
Cruel or at least forceful
I'm so hungry

I don't wanna be eliminated!
I don't wanna be eliminated!
I don't wanna be eliminated!
I don't wanna be eliminated!
Track Name: Iron Ball Direction
Iron ball direction - round metal perfection
Iron ball direction - gives me hand erection

I roll them around in my palm and I'm calm
Clockwise and counter-clockwise
My fingers explode!

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